Give up God For Me.... And I'll Date You (con't)
His argument went on for at least a good hour and a half. Normally I would have said something to the effect of “let’s agree to disagree” and bounced. But, I sort of relished tussling with this stranger, his arguments were interesting, he was super smart, super cute, and I didn't want to be rude to my friend’s husband. I stayed and listened only because, after a while I couldn't get a word in edge-wise. At the same time, I somehow thought it was a good idea to say yes every time the waiter came by to ask if I'd like another glass of wine.
When Michael decided he was done attacking religion - or maybe he just got a hint from the glazed look in my eyes – he then launched into why he was ready to get married. His plan: To hunker down in China so he could create a home for his soon-to-be bride but first he was going to find his perfect bride by dating like "The Bachelor" - international style. He was dating a woman in China, Africa, Europe, South America, and was looking for a girl in the U.S. I couldn’t believe I was hearing this. Then he said something like, if I gave up this silly idea of believing in God I could be in the running. I paused… I stared…. This could not be happening.
At this point I was hammered and disgusted. It was time to go. Unfortunately, Michael suggested we split a cab since we were going in the same direction but since I didn't want him to know what building I lived in, I had the cab drop me off at the corner. As I stumbled down the side walk, just a few doors from my building I heard footsteps running up behind me. Since I was a bit tipsy, my usually sharp New York street skills were a little slow and I didn’t turn around in time to see who it was or to start running myself.
But boy, did I sober up fast when I felt someone's arms wrap around my body, pinning my arms down by my side, and lifting me off the ground! I start screaming "RAPE! FIRE! FIRE!" (I remembered in this moment a story from a psychology class in college where if you’re in danger don't yell help, yell fire. Apparently people won't help you unless you are on fire). My assailant finally put me down and I turned around. It was my blind date.
I was shocked by the “attack” and that it was him. I started screaming; what did he think he was doing? Michael: “I was trying to be romantic and wanted to end the date with a kiss.” Was this guy mentally deficient? I lost it, “WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU DON'T RUN UP BEHIND A WOMAN AND PICK HER UP ON THE STEETS OF NEW YORK!" I then proceeded to hit him with my clutch repeatedly telling him to, "GO HOME!"
Thank God, I never heard from him again.
